New Relationship with Children!

Well first of all I haven't blogged in months, it's been so long since I blogged so no one will probably read anyway but I felt like I wanted to write something. I'd really like some feedback to.

As you are probably all aware me and the boys Dad broke up, mutual thing that had been brewing for years. I am now seeing someone else and we kept it a secret (well tried to) for around four months. I don’t feel I want to go into detail about either of these events, however it's now out in the open and it's opened up a lot more opportunities for us. We finally went out on our first proper date last week. Previously we have only been able to see each other at our houses. Either when neither of us had our children or when my children were asleep.

We've both met each other's children, we'd met them before we even got together as we've known each other for almost 4 years. He is my boss, just to add an extra level of complication to it all. This weekend we went out all 6 of us, and had a brilliant afternoon. The kids seem to get on really well even though his are 8 and 5 so older than mine. It was very cute watching them play together and with us. My kids seem to like him and I think his kids like me. They wanted to come to my house so I can't be all that bad.

We were met with the awkward situation of 8yo saying 'Daddy is L your girlfriend.' I could tell it threw S a bit and he said 'L is my friend yes and she is a girl.' Then he went on to say that I am like their Mummies friend. To which 8yo responded 'he's Mummies boyfriend.' It was all a little bit awkward, we wanted to leave it that we are just special friends in front of the kids. Try and keep it as un-confusing for them as possible, thing is kids don't miss much and these things don't escape them. We just hang out; we occasionally wrap an arm around each other but nothing too obvious in front of the children. We don't want to confuse them, or have it affect them but at the same time we want to be able to be able to show each other some affection. My children are obviously a lot younger but still I don't want them to be affected by it all. Both our children will always come first and we are trying to do everything right but sometimes it's hard to know what that is.

He only ever comes over when mine are in bed and if one of them wakes they never see him or know he is there. Even though it's normal that Mummy would have a friend over we want to keep it that way for now. It did feel wrong having him over when the kids were asleep upstairs and I know it bothered him a bit but it was the only way we could ever get any time together. So overtime we learnt to accept that it was the way it needed to be and we weren't hurting anyone.

We have had a couple of sleepovers – me going to his when our children are with the other parent. So no one is affected by this. One day though I know it's going to come to the point where I want him to be able to stay overnight even though my kids are here. I'll admit there have been times when we are all snuggled up and very sleepy that it would just be lovely to go to sleep together and not have him have to go home. I have no idea at all when the right time for this will be. Not yet of course, I want my kids to spend much more time with him/him and his kids before he is suddenly here when they wake up.  It needs to be sort of a natural progression, but how will I know then the time is right? Is it ever right to have a new partner sleep over when the kids are there?

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle new relationships when you have kids? It's happened a lot sooner than I could ever have imagined but with my children being so young it was inevitable that at some point in their lives I would meet someone. No one should have to remain single until their children are grown up. Would really like to hear people's opinions on this.