Teaching a toddler to share

Facing another parenting difficulty these days and its driving me slightly mad. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with it, or fix the situation. As far as I can see it’s purely a case of riding it out.

It sharing – toddlers don’t understand the concept of sharing and obviously anything anyone else has is the best thing ever and they have to have it right that second.  In that case I usually remove the item and give it back to whoever had it first and explain they need to share and take turns. They look at me like I am insane and continue to fight usually with the offending item being removed. It’s difficult because R is really too young to understand.

The hardest situation is when J is sitting nicely playing with ‘HIS’ toys and R decides that he wants to join in. Resulting in J getting very defensive and upset at R taking his toys. I completely understand J’s frustration they are his toys and at that moment he doesn’t want to share and I feel that he shouldn’t have to. As well as learning to share they need to learn a sense of self of worth too, and that something’s are theirs. How do you deal with it though? R is at that age where he is getting difficult to distract and he just wants to play with his brother. There is nowhere for J to go that is safe, he used to be able to play on the sofa but not since R can now climb up there to.

Has anyone got any advice on how to deal with this? 

This isn’t goodbye, even as I watch you leave…

… this isn’t goodbye. I swear I won’t cry, even as tears fill my eyes. I swear I won’t cry’

Last week the news broke that Westlife were calling it a day, after 14 incredible years they’d decided to quit while they were at the top of their game. Spend the time they so deserve with their families, I couldn’t spend as much time as they do away from their children so I can completely understand why they are doing it.

I’m sad because it means things have to change, there will be no more ticket stress, no more planning and excitement about our tour adventures. No more albums to discuss or videos to drool over. Westlife have been a huge part of my life, I’ve been in love with them twice as long as I have my husband. They’ve been in my life longer than most people have (family excluded.) People don’t really get it and I understand that. An outsider can never understand.

‘Always you’ll be a part of me’

The music has been there to help me through the highs and lows that life has brought me over the years. I’ve laughed to it and cried to it, and even though we won’t be getting any new music I won’t stop listening to the albums they’ve already given us.

‘You’ll find it in the deepest friendship, the kind you cherish all your life.’ 

Without Westlife I would never have met so many amazing people, I’ve spoken to people from all corners of the world. As far away as Mexico and Australia, to people in the next town from me. Gathering in Dublin I stayed in a hostel with a girl from New Zealand another from Canada, fans from all over gathered for a 10 year celebration in Croke Park. I was excited to meet so many people who I’d spoken to but never had the chance to meet before.

I’ve met two of my closest friends thanks to our shared passion for Westlife. I met T in the latter part of 2007 – I do believe we bonded over BBMak and our shared love for Mr Filan. We met for the first time in June 2008 and there has been no going back. She’s now proud god mother to Riley and knows far too much that she could bribe me with. She’s bloody awesome and Westlife is such a small part of friendship but at the same time the biggest part because it’s what brought us together.

I met another girl way way back in the very early days of Westlife, she’s never been able to get rid of me. She may have tried and we didn’t talk as much for a while – life got in the way, but we found our way back to each other . I still look back on our early friendship, millions of texts, letters and late night phone calls that went on for hours. She was my Jellybaby Rachie Ra – we are possibly still as bonkers now as we were as teenagers.

I’m lucky enough to have met these amazing girls and we are going to share the last tour together and make it one to remember.

The end of Westlife does mean that we need to use our imagination a bit more in future when we plan meet ups – although we are already planning a bit of Buble action.

‘You’re gonna say goodbye, I wish I could stop you, but you’ve made up your mind. I beg you don’t go, but  I already know you’re leaving.'

I would like to thank Shane filan, Nicky Byrne, Mark Feehily and Kian Egan for giving us an amazing 14 years – possibly the hardest working, nicest guys in pop. They’ve given us an amazing run, 100’s of memories and more joy than they will ever realise. Whatever they decide to do next I hope for nothing more than that they are happy. 

Dummies, sleep and sharing rooms

Well I have been totally lame on the blogging front over the past month or so, I’ve been suffering from bloggers block or something. So I think it’s time for a little update on my boys. We’ve actually made a few big changes in the last month.

We got rid of J’s dummies, it wasn’t planned. We had thought about the dummy fairy, sending them away to santa, cutting the ends off – all the options were considered and we hadn’t really decided on how or when.  Then one morning I was sick of hearing ‘dum dum’ repeated over and over, he was like a stuck record. So I got the dummies handed them to him and marched him to the bin and told him he was a big boy and it was time to throw them away. He did it while sobbing his little heart out, I felt like an evil cow. So I took him to the sofa, we sat down and had big cuddles and I explained that he was a big boy now and he didn’t need dummies anymore. R would be keeping his because he was a baby. Then I told him if he went all day and then went to bed without a dummy Mummy would buy him something.  He had the choice between a new toy or something chocolate and he requested a ‘Choc choc egg.’ (a kinder egg). So kinder eggs were purchased and he was rewarded the following morning.

He did amazing, had a slight wobble just before bed when R was given his dummy but he’s doing really well – no battles at bedtime and he sleeps perfectly fine without his dummy. I’d definitely imagined huge tantrums and battles at bedtime and we had none.

The second massive change happened in the same week – I had a week off work and I’d decided it was time to get my room back. So we moved R in with his brother, completely moved the bedroom around and hoped for the best. It’s been a bigger success than I ever imagined. As you all know R was a rubbish sleeper, never sleeping through, battles at bedtime etc etc.  They have been sharing now for 3 weeks and only one night did R put up a fight and that was only for about 15 minutes. He’s also slept through the night every night apart from three. I feel like a new woman, I’m not sure what to do with all the sleep I am now able to get (if only I went to bed a bit earlier.) I’m wondering now why I didn’t do it months ago? Probably because it wouldn’t have worked, maybe I was just lucky that I got the timing perfect? Maybe it was fluke, or maybe he is just happy because he likes someone being in the room with him?

He actually does wake up, but he only moans a bit (hubs has heard him when he gets in from work) but he doesn’t cry enough to wake anyone up.  He then puts himself back to sleep, whereas when he moaned in my room I would wake up and deal with him, when I probably didn’t need to as he could have put himself back to sleep.

So anyone who is worrying about taking the plunge with something I would say go for it, its never as bad as we imagine it’s going to be. At least in my experience. 

Feel Good Friday

Well I haven’t written one of these in ages, I won’t add a link up but if anyone writes one then please do let me know so I can come and read.

It’s been a strange week and it would be easy to focus on all the sadness, I’ve never had a week with so many ups and down – I could make a rollercoaster out of them.

So to focus on the happy things. My friend finally had her baby girl on Sunday – she was 9 days late and I was almost as desperate for her arrival as her Mum was. I got a tiny bit over excited in Sainsburys when I was looking for a cute outfit – seriously boys stuff is just not quite as cute as girl’s things.

It’s actually only Thursday as I write this because I am not around Friday to do it, but hopefully by the time some of you read this I will have had tiny baby cuddles. Yes I get to go meet baby girl tomorrow, I am so excited and a little worried about how incredibly broody it is bound to make me. Just remind me of the sleepless nights please.

Also my wonderful friend @chatty30 has someone managed to get us front row tickets to Westlife, which brings us much happiness and excitement despite the fact that it will be the last time we see them in tour. What a way to end an incredible 14 years though!

Edit: Also managed third row tickets today - which was definitely another feel good moment :)

Being Lucy

Friday night I had a proper girls night out, the first time I’ve been out on the town in years. Somewhere along the lines I got old and stopped enjoying such activities. I’ve spent the last two years being Mummy and even when I’m not being Mummy I’m talking about my children. Friday night I managed to be completely me, very little talk at all of babies.

As well as looking forward to the night I was slightly apprehensive. What do people wear these days? What would it be like? Could I handle my drink? The first dilemma some of you may have followed on twitter, I apologise if I drove me mad – I drove myself slightly mad. Three purchases later I was happy with my outfit. First I bought a black dress; I looked like a beach whale in it. Second outfit I loved, but it wasn’t to be. The third and final outfit I loved and was rushing around the day before buying…even though we had planned the night for about six weeks. It was a top I settled on, and then new trousers, and of course jewellery – thankfully I had the perfect pair of shoes already. My £25 budget some became £40  I absolutely love it though, I felt completely comfortable and I'll wear the clothes again...Wednesday night in fact. 

I bought the top, got home noticed it was snagged and had to return it. I was praying they would have another...as luck would have it they did. So after weeks of stress I was sorted. 

'The Outfit'

I did my makeup at my friend’s house with our first drink, before collecting her friend and hitting Leamington. I’ve never been out there before but have always heard great things about it. There was laughter from the beginning of the night until we stumbled into bed (well my friends sofa...yes all 3 of us slept there.) 

We consumed a lot of vodka and a couple of shots, I'm surprised I was still standing...but I fine, drunk but fine. We drank, we danced, we flirted...there was even chest hair and nipples involved at one point and I have absolutely no idea why. Best I'd all we laughed, we laughed so much. 

'Unable to keep a straight face for a picture'

I pulled too (well I could of but obviously I'm married so I didn't) but it’s a strangely nice feeling to know that I've still got it in me. I stopped feeling attractive a long time ago, maybe since having children I don't really know. Guys always want my friend...who ever she is. So it gave me a real confidence boast in myself to be told 'I really fancy you...I need to go home because I want you and you're married.' He wasn’t beating around the bush about it was he? He left, came back for a kiss on the cheek then really left.
Perhaps it’s because I've not really been out for those kind of nights since being with A, so when your single your trying to impress. I didn't care I was just out to have a good time who cared if a guy found me attractive it really made no different to me. That’s clearly the way to go, because my friend was the same and she got lots of attention to. Or maybe we just got hot!!

I've honestly not had such an awesome night in a long time. Maybe it’s because I don't do it very often or perhaps it was who I was with. Either way I say roll on next time.

I have two toddlers!!

How the hell did that happen? R was ten months old on Friday and he has upped his walking somewhat. He is now walking as much if not more than he is crawling. Today he mastered standing up without climbing something first, and stopping to bend down and pick something up before carrying on walking. Definitely a very proud Mummy, makes me go all gushy.

I know J walked at 10.5 months but I am still finding it all a little insane. Why do my babies insist on growing up so quickly? Am I supposed to call him a toddler now? I guess so since he is toddling. I don’t want to though, he’s just my tiny little baby.

Look where I found him this evening….

… He was looking very pleased with himself. Nothing is safe any more, most of all R. The chairs are definitely going to have to be put out of the room when not in use, because disaster is looming. I have visions on him climbing up and the chair tipping forward and him landing on the laminate. He has no fear, he’s turning into a proper little dare devil.

He’s also started with little mini tantrums. Screaming and arching his back when he doesn’t want to go in the car seat/pushchair.  Throwing himself face down on the floor if something doesn’t go his way, or something is taken away from him. I am so not prepared for this, one toddler is about as much as I can handle some days. Toddlers are like minefields, one small step in the wrong direction and everything explodes. I will never master toddlers, they completely baffle me. Complicated little things with strong personalities … at least my two are.

If you find me rocking in the corner one day, then it’ll be because the children have driven me completely insane.

Has anyone got two toddlers? How do you cope with them? 

A - Z of Me

I haven’t blogged in a while, no particular reason but I have been tagged…twice actually. Firstly by @MyLittlefamily at Ponderings of a first time Mum  and then by @plasticrosaries over at the pieces of me.

So here is my attempt.

ANORAK…Do you have a sad side? 
Some would say my love for boybands is sad, in fact my husband tells me this regularly.

BODY…What physical attribute would you most like to change?  
My height, I'd like to be slightly taller so that buyer trousers the right length wasn't completely impossible. 

CELEBRITY…Which one would you most like to date and why?  
Shane Filan, because he is bloody gorgeous! I could listen to him sing/talk all day.*swoons* I've also been slightly in love with him for about 14years. I’d run away with him tomorrow if he asked.

DEBUT …Tell us about your first ever blog post. What made you start blogging? 
I can't remember, it was on a blog I no longer have the link for. However on my old blog the first post was a reflection of my miscarriage, which led me to carry on blogging. A couple of years later I started my mummy blog.

ERROR …What’s been your biggest regret?  
A stupid drunken New Year’s Eve kiss many years ago with a friend that nearly cost me everything. Although it’s in the past now, and all parties involved have forgiven.

FUNNY – who’s making you laugh? 
My boys, they crack me up. The latest on is J saying to his little brother ‘Stay there…boy.’ Cracks me up, I don’t know where he gets it from.

GRAND…If we gave you one right now what would you spend it on?  
Difficult. So many things I want to do, buy new clothes. Decorate mine and the boy’s room, save and go on holiday. I'd probably spend a small amount and the rest would go to savings. Boring I know!

HOLIDAY… What’s your favourite destination?   
Tough one, but I'm going to go with Ireland. I always feel relaxed and like I've come home whenever I go there.

IRRITATE… What’s your most annoying habit?  
Probably having to know every tiny detail in advance of going somewhere. When we need to get up, when we need to leave, when we will arrive, lists of lists of stuff we need. I drive hubby slightly mad.

JOKER…Whats your favourite joke {the one that makes you laugh everytime you hear it}? 
I don't have one, I don't tend to find jokes that funny.

KENNEL… Do you have any pets?  
A four year old Labrador we've had since he was a pup. A cat we adopted and two anti-social rabbits! 

LOVE…Are you single, married, engaged, living with a long term partner?  
Married.

MEAL… Whats your ultimate starter, main and dessert? 
I'm not really one for starters; I like to save room for pudding. We usually have cheesey garlic bread. Then I'd love a nice duck breast, followed by crème Brulee.

NOW…If you could be anywhere right now where would you be and who with? 
I would be in a cosy cottage in the Irish countryside with my husband and two babies. 

OFF DUTY…What do you do in your spare time?  
Read. I love reading, there is never enough time for it though.

PROUD MOMENTS …What are you most proud of?  
My children!

QUEASY …What turns your stomach? 
The smell of sick...makes me want to throw up. Mould growing on food makes my stomach turn to...eww!
  
RELAX…How do you relax?  
Hot bubble bath with a good book. Completely unwinds me and allows me to relax.

SONG…What’s your favourite song of all time?  
That's a really hard question. I'm not sure I have just one, I have different ones for different times in my life. Bran Adams 'summer of 69' comes very near the top though.

TIME …If you could go back in time and relive it again, when would you choose?  
I'd go back 9.5 months to when R was born and try to savour the moment a bit more. Life was completely crazy and I look back and remember very little. The first months past in a blur and it makes me sad because I remember every tiny detail of J’s first weeks.

UNKNOWN…Tell us something about yourself that no one else knows?  
I'm not sure there is anything than no one knows and if there is it’s that way for a reason. So I'll pick something not many people know. I once went on a date with a hot fireman.

VOCAL…. Who is your favourite artist?  
I love Shane Filan’s vocals. I also adore Pink.

WORK….. What is your dream job, and are you doing it now?  
I don't know what my dream job is, but I know I'm not doing it. Being a mummy is about the best job going though.

XRAY…Any broken bones? 
None!

YIKES…What’s been your most embarrassing moment?  
Grounding a speedboat comes pretty high! 

ZOO…. If you were an animal, which one would you be? 
A Lion.

I'd like to tag @chatty30, @F_a_B_ and @rachelbeasley of course you don't have to do it