Birthdays

Birthdays

Birthdays change a lot with age, at least in my experience they do.

We go from being too young to really understand what's going on - first birthdays, sometimes even second birthdays. Then birthdays are exciting.

My eldest was 3 on his birthday and although he doesn't completely understand them he knows its about cake and presents and it's exciting. He gets excited about anyone's birthday and likes to join in the opening of presents. Often he talks about his birthday even though it was back in June, his monkey cake (that i made) gets the most mentions, he was definitely impressed with it.

 Then we reach an age where birthdays are just another day, it can still be exciting if you have someone to make a fuss of you but it's still not quite the same. You can't ignore the things you have to do with the day.

Today is my birthday my *coughs* 28th  birthday. It's just any other day. I woke up and had cuddles with my boys and told them 'its mummies birthday.' J asked if he could see my birthday and I wasn't sure what he meant. That is until his excitement to go downstairs, then the look of disappointment on his face followed by ' mummy where's your birthday?' I actually cried at his disappointment. On his birthday he came down to a pile of presents on the rug, balloons and banners and I think he was expecting the same for my birthday. I did have something to open, a little something from my sister and my mum and a few cards. Which the boys took great pleasure in handing to me and eagerly inspecting the bracelet and chocolates. Then it was time  to get on with nappy changing, breakfast making and washing the dishes. I've also since stripped the beds and put away my ironing and later I will be going to work. So it's pretty much just any other day.

Tonight I will be seeing S and I am looking forward to it a lot, we are not doing anything though probably just watching Eastenders or something. (We are going out for food when he's feeling better. ) I don't care I'm just looking forward to a cuddle and a happy birthday from him.

It's the  first birthday I've ever woke without another adult around. First parents and then A, both who would make a small fuss and hand me gifts or whatever. I'm not the kind of person who really cares about birthdays anyway, I don't feel the need to have big celebrations and as long as I get to spend it with someone I love it's fine. It is weird though. J has said happy birthday to me a few times and its very sweet, I didn't get the monkey cake with candles he told me he was going to make me though. Although I think at three he an be forgiven for not baking...

So birthdays as a adult...as a single mum are nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary, just any other day.