The power of a book

After reading a post on bethan-no-y about the demise in literacy levels in this country it inspired me to write my own post about reading.

I love to read, I’ve always enjoyed reading ever since I was a little girl. I admit I lost my way a bit during my teenage years as other things caught my attention but I found my way back and I read now more than I ever did. I used to dream of finding a magic tree with all sorts of fabulous creatures living in it. I never did find such a tree but it was fun dreaming about it. Reading is my escape; it allows me to be removed from the stress of everyday life for a few minutes a day. When you find a truly good book you become so absorbed that real time passes by almost as quickly as the days in the book, you don’t want to put it down. Just another page and another until you reach the last one. Then you are gutted because it’s ended and even though you wanted to find out what happened you can’t help but feel a little bit sad that you’ve reached the end.

I don’t know many guys that read, my dad does but that’s only something that has come with age. He never used to read. Ant doesn’t read and I’ve suggested to him many times that he should, but he’s not interested. In one particular conversation he told me that it’s only old men that read, I’m sure that’s not always the case but I do tend to find that I know a lot more females that read than males. So am I fighting a losing battle encouraging my boys to read, I hope not.

Regardless of whether they keep it up when they enter adulthood I want to encourage them as children, reading is important. I’ve read to J since he was little, we point things out and he gets bedtime stories every night. I’ll do the same to R when he’s a bit bigger. J loves his books and every time I catch him sitting in the corner (always sits in the corner) flicking through a pile of books I feel a little flutter of pride. I want him to enjoy reading; of course I’d love him to be able to read before he starts school. Doesn’t any Mum? However I will never force him to learn through reading, if he doesn’t want to read I won’t make him. Some days we’ll sit for ages flicking through books, other days we only have a story at bedtime. This morning while I was getting dressed, I left R lying on my bed and J went and got a couple of books and climbed up next to R and was trying to show them to him. Was very cute.

I think the problem with reading sometimes is that people approach it the wrong way – reading shouldn’t be a chore and it you see it as one you’re not going to enjoy it. Find a fantastic, fun, enjoyable book and lose yourself in it. My favourite place to read is in the bath, a hot bath with gorgeous smelling bubbles and silence. It’s completely relaxing; I can travel to another place or fall in love with a character. Lose myself in the deliciousness.

You don’t have to read great works of literature like Shakespeare, if you enjoy chick lits or fantasy then who cares. I love a good chick lit, but I’ll also give any kind of book a chance. There is only so much chick lit I can read, so every now and again I pick something completely different. Pride and prejudice is one of my all time favourite books. It's about time I borrow it from the library again I think.

Fuming Friday

I’ve recently started to follow a lovely new lady on twitter and have come across her blog – unpackedmummy. She has come up with a blog hop idea, and I definitely want to join in. This is a how she describes it.

So I was thinking it may be fun to have a bit of a link up where we can all let off steam about something that annoys us. So every Friday, I am going to write a post where I get something off my chest that has wound me up during the week and put it up here on my blog. If you want to add a post then add your details below and we can really get going, and get ranty, properly!

So this week I want to rant about my parents... now before I start I want to clarify that I love them dearly, just at times they drive me to frustration. They seem to feel the need to feed and then feed my son some more, they are bad enough with me but it frustrates me a hell of a lot more with J. If you offer him cake he’s going to eat it, there are not many kids that won’t. Last Saturday I came home and had a bit of a twitter rant about it as I ended up really so cross.

My Lovely Mummy gave Joshua a scone when we arrived, which was fine it was snack time anyway. Then a short while later Joshua was being a bit grumpy as he is so she asked it he would like some raisins (yoghurt covered ones) he told her No. So she asked him again, and again he said no. So her reply was come with me and lets have a look and 30 seconds later he’s returned with a dish of raisins. Which I add he ate about four of then left them on the table... like he said, he didn’t want them. J doesn’t have many words but he is brilliant at saying ‘yes’ and ‘no’ if he says no he means it. He used to answer yes to everything, then get frustrated that we gave him something he didn’t actually want. Soon he learnt that no meant he didn’t get it if he didn’t want it. So by my Mum giving him something when he said no is just going to confuse him.

Anyway I digress, so again a short while later she is making tea and getting more scones out, I said Joshua can’t have one but he can have a bite of mine. But she’s buttering him one and popping a piece in his mouth, so I repeat no firmer and she leaves the scone on the side. Making me feel rotton because Joshua had seen it and I was the one who had to say no.

Just before we were due to leave and go home for a nice dinner than my hubby was cooking, my dad started to feed Joshua chips – not any chips, chip shop chips loaded with salt. Salt is bad, salt is evil so I was not happy. I repeatedly said ‘no more we’re going home for tea’ But my protests fell on deaf ears. They are unable to refuse the puppy dogs eyes of my little boy and just keep giving.
It drives me mental, it makes me feel like I’m a mean Mummy because I’m always saying no. I fully appreciate that grandparents are there to spoil and they love nothing more. However if the Mummy says no then please, please listen. Saturday resulted in my having to deal wit a major meltdown when I took him away from the chips and took him home – literally had to pin him down to strap him in the car. He was then grumpy all night, its not fair that I am left to deal with that when it could be prevented in the first place.

I’m trying to encourage a healthy attitude to food, and recently he has become a tad fussy so I don’t want him filling up on unhealthy food. What worries me most is that I am going on holiday for two weeks with my parents this year. How can I approach it without ending up losing my rag with them or spending my holiday annoyed?

Brotherly Love

Before Riley entered the world I had absolutely no idea how Joshua was going to react to him. I feared jealousy and worst of all Joshua trying to hurt him. I don’t know whether we are just lucky, but we’ve had neither. Joshua has always been a sweet, gentle (albeit bad tempered) little boy and there is no exception with his baby brother.

In the first few days of Riley being around, Joshua wasn’t so sure. When we asked if he liked Riley he would say ‘no’ but then he’d kiss him. Quite often he will lie of sit with him, touching his nose, playing with his feet or passing him toys. It’s beautiful to watch.



He tries to help when Riley cries. A few days back J was patting Riley’s back to try and stop him crying. He’s seen us do it when we’re winding him, so he was trying to help me. Washing his face is another fun one, he went through a stage of doing that all the time, he’s even tried to brush his teeth for him.

The other afternoon we were at my parents and Riley had been sleeping in his car seat. Joshua was sat watching him when he woke up. So J stood up and rocked the seat, then peered at Riley, shook his head and tried again. Obviously trying to get him back to sleep. Was adorable, a heart melting moment.

My Mum likes to tell me that Joshua gets jealous sometimes, but honestly he doesn’t. Okay sometimes when I’m holding Riley he will want to be picked up to – but I wouldn’t call is jealously. Maybe I’m deluded, but I don’t think so, since most of the time he doesn’t bother.

I just know J is going to love it once R is on the move and he can play with him. I'm dreading the mischief already.

Yummy Mummy

No not me, the most amazing changing bags I have ever seen. I was just browsing the internet thinking I'd like a prettier bag, not that there is anything wrong with the free boots changing bag we have. It's just boring.

Anyway I came across these bags by accident and it was love at first site. Just look at them.

This one is my favourite >>














I tried to convince the hubby that he needs to buy me one, but he's not having any of it. Changing bags double up as a handbag for me these days and I would use it everytime we went out for the next couple of years. My arguements didn't convince him though, Mr Sensible! To be fair we have much more important things to spend £70 on than a pretty changing bag.

A girl can dream hey?!

If you want to look at them do so at Pink Lining

Baby Riley

I just love watching my baby, if I had the time I'd sit and watch him for hours. He's a really content little boy, happy to lie on his playmat or sit in his swing.

He's really interactive now and gives me big smiles and coos when I talk to him. I love how his little eyes follow me when I walk past. Everyone keeps telling me he's a mummys boy and it annoyes me nearly as much as the 'he's so big' comments. He's 8 weeks olds is it really a bad thing that he's a mummys's boy? Surely its a good thing that his mummy makes him feel so relaxed and safe. I feed him, I change him, I bath him... he spends more time with me than with anyone else in the world of course he's going to want to be with me.

It amazes me how different he is to Joshua, they are both smiley little boys but Riley is more content to be left alone. Perhaps its because he doesn't have colic like Joshua had. We used to have to rock Joshua to sleep, he always slept better cradled in someone's arms. Riley has self settled from day 1, he's currently just fallen asleep on his play mat. He goes to.bed much later than Joshua did, but after his bath, massage and feed he goes in his basket. Coos and wriggles for a bit before drifting to sleep. It's one thing I pray he keeps up, as much as I love sleepy cuddles it would be a.nightmare to go through what we went with Joshua. He's never going to have our undivided attention like Joshua did. It's the reason I've started to schedule mummy time and daddy time for both of them. One hour a week they get time with just one of us, its nice for them and its nice us to. I love being able to give them my undivided attention for that time.

Tantrums..

The definition of a tantrum according to Wiki is :
A tantrum is an emotional outburst, usually associated with children or those in emotional distress, that is typically characterized by stubbornness, crying, screaming, defiance, angry ranting, a resistance to attempts at pacification and, at some cases, hitting. Physical control may be lost, the person may be unable to remain still, and even if the "goal" of the person is met he or she may not be calmed.

We’ve had most of these, and I believe a lot of it stems from frustration. We can’t understand him fast enough, he can’t understand why we are telling him no or taking something away from him. I believe that as he learns to communicate better the tantrums will lessen... or perhaps that is wishful thinking. Either way time will tell. It must be so frustrating to have something he deems ‘fun’ to be taken away without being able to fully understand why. To the toddler it feels like the end of the world, or whatever would be equally as bad to them.

Tiredness and hunger make tantrums worse, because lets face it only a toddler would think it was a good idea to scream and bang there head against a door because you haven’t peeled their orange fast enough. Or hit themselves in the head with a wooden brick while screaming blue murder because they are tired and the thought of having to go to bed is horrific.

This is the scale our tantrums have escalated to these days. I struggle to know how to handle it sometimes, screaming and banging his feet or rolling around the floor I found easier to ignore. Head banging I’m torn because it usually resorts in him hurting himself and then tantrum tears turn to proper tears. Which makes me want to comfort him, but then I wonder if that’s his plan. Hurting himself to get my attention, for me to stop what I am doing and cuddle him? Should I leave him sobbing because he has hurt himself, will he learn that it’s not going to get him what he wants or will he continue to do it? Tantrums are a minefield.

J is a sweet little boy, but his tantrums are enough to drive anyone slightly mad at times. Standing and making noises while pointing vaguely in the direction of something isn’t overly helpful in helping me understand what he wants. The fact that he says ‘Yeah’ to practically everything we say makes it even harder.

‘Do you want this?’ I hold something up and he replies ‘Yea.’ So I hand it to him and he screams at me. This happens at least a handful of times every day.

Sometimes we can distract him and defuse the situation, but that rarely lasts long and once a tantrum starts to brew you rarely make it through the day without it making an appearance. I’ve found that if I try to talk or rationalise with him while a tantrum is under way it results in the tantrum stepping up a gear. Toddlers completely lose control of themselves during a tantrum, and are quite possibly a little scared of the violent feelings that they cannot control. It’s too easy to forget and understand how a toddler is feeling.

I just need to take a deep breath when a tantrum is underway and remind myself that however unpleasant the tantrum is for me, it’s a whole lot worse for him.

When are you planning on stopping?

‘How long are you doing that for?’
Two questions that most breastfeeding Mums seem to encounter. I’m never sure how to answer. It’s not like on the 23rd May, the day he turns six months I’m going to suddenly stop. Although according to the latest reports exclusively breastfeeding for six months isn’t recommended now. Why they can’t put their money into researching something useful, instead of producing reports to tell us how to be good Mummies. I'm going to carry on as long as we are both happy. Be it three months or a year. It's an incredible bonding experience, it’s easy and enjoyable for me. No washing and sterilizing bottles, no getting up in the middle of the night to warm milk, no worrying about taking enough milk on days out. My milk is with me all the time and it saves me a small fortune. Not to mention it is the best for my baby.

J wasn’t ready for solids at four months, even though endless people told me he was. ‘It’ll make him sleep through the night.’ Funny how they say the same for formula, yet neither work. Babies have a massive four month growth spurt and if I’m happy waking every two hours to feed my baby then why does it bother everyone else so much? I waited until he was ready at almost six months. Even child is different, so parents cant be expected to all do the same thing at the same time.

Breastfeeding rates are lower in this country than most, yet we do nothing and support mothers. No one tells you how hard it’s going to be in the first few days and weeks. Maybe if they did instead of painting a picture that is easy and natural more woman would stick at it. Instead they are left struggling, thinking they are doing something wrong, with little or no support and end up giving up. This latest report is going to put even more women off trying.

It came as no surprise to me that three out of the four people who'd carried out this new report used to work for a formula company. They need to atop making it about money and more about what is actually best for babies.

Personally I say ignore all the rubbish they come out with, and trust your instincts... no-one know your baby better than you.