Tantrums..

The definition of a tantrum according to Wiki is :
A tantrum is an emotional outburst, usually associated with children or those in emotional distress, that is typically characterized by stubbornness, crying, screaming, defiance, angry ranting, a resistance to attempts at pacification and, at some cases, hitting. Physical control may be lost, the person may be unable to remain still, and even if the "goal" of the person is met he or she may not be calmed.

We’ve had most of these, and I believe a lot of it stems from frustration. We can’t understand him fast enough, he can’t understand why we are telling him no or taking something away from him. I believe that as he learns to communicate better the tantrums will lessen... or perhaps that is wishful thinking. Either way time will tell. It must be so frustrating to have something he deems ‘fun’ to be taken away without being able to fully understand why. To the toddler it feels like the end of the world, or whatever would be equally as bad to them.

Tiredness and hunger make tantrums worse, because lets face it only a toddler would think it was a good idea to scream and bang there head against a door because you haven’t peeled their orange fast enough. Or hit themselves in the head with a wooden brick while screaming blue murder because they are tired and the thought of having to go to bed is horrific.

This is the scale our tantrums have escalated to these days. I struggle to know how to handle it sometimes, screaming and banging his feet or rolling around the floor I found easier to ignore. Head banging I’m torn because it usually resorts in him hurting himself and then tantrum tears turn to proper tears. Which makes me want to comfort him, but then I wonder if that’s his plan. Hurting himself to get my attention, for me to stop what I am doing and cuddle him? Should I leave him sobbing because he has hurt himself, will he learn that it’s not going to get him what he wants or will he continue to do it? Tantrums are a minefield.

J is a sweet little boy, but his tantrums are enough to drive anyone slightly mad at times. Standing and making noises while pointing vaguely in the direction of something isn’t overly helpful in helping me understand what he wants. The fact that he says ‘Yeah’ to practically everything we say makes it even harder.

‘Do you want this?’ I hold something up and he replies ‘Yea.’ So I hand it to him and he screams at me. This happens at least a handful of times every day.

Sometimes we can distract him and defuse the situation, but that rarely lasts long and once a tantrum starts to brew you rarely make it through the day without it making an appearance. I’ve found that if I try to talk or rationalise with him while a tantrum is under way it results in the tantrum stepping up a gear. Toddlers completely lose control of themselves during a tantrum, and are quite possibly a little scared of the violent feelings that they cannot control. It’s too easy to forget and understand how a toddler is feeling.

I just need to take a deep breath when a tantrum is underway and remind myself that however unpleasant the tantrum is for me, it’s a whole lot worse for him.