This isn’t goodbye, even as I watch you leave…

… this isn’t goodbye. I swear I won’t cry, even as tears fill my eyes. I swear I won’t cry’

Last week the news broke that Westlife were calling it a day, after 14 incredible years they’d decided to quit while they were at the top of their game. Spend the time they so deserve with their families, I couldn’t spend as much time as they do away from their children so I can completely understand why they are doing it.

I’m sad because it means things have to change, there will be no more ticket stress, no more planning and excitement about our tour adventures. No more albums to discuss or videos to drool over. Westlife have been a huge part of my life, I’ve been in love with them twice as long as I have my husband. They’ve been in my life longer than most people have (family excluded.) People don’t really get it and I understand that. An outsider can never understand.

‘Always you’ll be a part of me’

The music has been there to help me through the highs and lows that life has brought me over the years. I’ve laughed to it and cried to it, and even though we won’t be getting any new music I won’t stop listening to the albums they’ve already given us.

‘You’ll find it in the deepest friendship, the kind you cherish all your life.’ 

Without Westlife I would never have met so many amazing people, I’ve spoken to people from all corners of the world. As far away as Mexico and Australia, to people in the next town from me. Gathering in Dublin I stayed in a hostel with a girl from New Zealand another from Canada, fans from all over gathered for a 10 year celebration in Croke Park. I was excited to meet so many people who I’d spoken to but never had the chance to meet before.

I’ve met two of my closest friends thanks to our shared passion for Westlife. I met T in the latter part of 2007 – I do believe we bonded over BBMak and our shared love for Mr Filan. We met for the first time in June 2008 and there has been no going back. She’s now proud god mother to Riley and knows far too much that she could bribe me with. She’s bloody awesome and Westlife is such a small part of friendship but at the same time the biggest part because it’s what brought us together.

I met another girl way way back in the very early days of Westlife, she’s never been able to get rid of me. She may have tried and we didn’t talk as much for a while – life got in the way, but we found our way back to each other . I still look back on our early friendship, millions of texts, letters and late night phone calls that went on for hours. She was my Jellybaby Rachie Ra – we are possibly still as bonkers now as we were as teenagers.

I’m lucky enough to have met these amazing girls and we are going to share the last tour together and make it one to remember.

The end of Westlife does mean that we need to use our imagination a bit more in future when we plan meet ups – although we are already planning a bit of Buble action.

‘You’re gonna say goodbye, I wish I could stop you, but you’ve made up your mind. I beg you don’t go, but  I already know you’re leaving.'

I would like to thank Shane filan, Nicky Byrne, Mark Feehily and Kian Egan for giving us an amazing 14 years – possibly the hardest working, nicest guys in pop. They’ve given us an amazing run, 100’s of memories and more joy than they will ever realise. Whatever they decide to do next I hope for nothing more than that they are happy.