Change For Life

I've been thinking about posting some of my short stories on here, I've not actually written any in a long time but I have a stash of them that I've written over the years. So I've decided to be brave and post on here... so here goes. Be nice :-) (Although I do appreciate construstive criticism)

Change For Life


The waves are rough, breaking hard against the coastline. The tide is on its way in, it won’t be long before the seawater is crashing against the wall and splashing any passers by crazy enough to be taking a walk. The water is precariously close to soaking her feet but still she stands lost in her thoughts.

A lot of time has been spent here; long walks with the dog, sandcastles and sandy sandwiches with the kids. Moonlit picnics with her husband, kissing and dancing under the stars. The sea has always been her friend; welcoming and friendly. Today it is dark, angry and heavier. It’s strange how the sea in all its glory captures her feelings so perfectly.

She watches as the sea washes up a piece of litter, hovering on the sand for a few seconds before an angry wave crashes down and whips it away. It lingers on the surface for a while, clinging desperately before giving in and allowing the sea to take it away. She watches it sink out of sight, slowly drowning. She wonders whether if the water rushed over her, it would take her away too. A few seconds contemplation is long enough, shaking her head she forces the crazy thoughts away. People need her, her children need her – but right now she needs her husband. She needs him more than she ever has, yet he’s not here. He left her alone to deal with everything.

She’s shivering but, instead of going home like any sensible person would, she begins to walk along the beach. Weaving slightly to avoid the waves, her mind floats back to that awful day.

She is running late, she has a million and one things to do. “Daniel, would you mind picking Caitlin up from ballet class?” she asks him.
“Not at all.” He smiles, “she finishes at 7?”
She nods, barely having time to reply as she carries on with her baking. They are having a party tomorrow to celebrate Jack’s 16th birthday and she still has so much to do.
“I better get going then,” he tells her. “Got time to kiss your husband before he leaves?”
She sighs, and looks at him, “Make it a quick one.”
He rolls his eyes at her and places a quick soft kiss on her lips. “Love you, see you later.”
“Back at ya,” she tells him.

“Why did I not take more time? Why did I not kiss him properly?” She scolds, hating herself for not appreciating every second she had with him. For not taking the time every day to show him she loved him. She thought she would see him again in half an hour and be curling up in bed with him later that night. Never for one moment did she imagine she would be alone.

He calls to let her know they are stopping for a milkshake on the way home. She is busy in the kitchen, chopping cheese for the cheese and pineapple sticks. Jack is at his friends and she is making the most of the time.
“Oowww!” she winces, the knife clattering to the floor as she grabs for her side. An unexplainable pain is soaring through her body and she crumples, almost falling to the floor. No sooner has the pain arrived but it’s gone again and she is left gasping for breath. With no time to ponder on what it was, she carries on with her preparations.
Time slips away and the hours tick by. It’s not until there is a knock on the door that she realises Daniel and Caitlin should have been home long ago. Flinging open the door a pang of dread reaches for her stomach as tears spring to her eyes. Two police officers stand before her.
“My daughter? My husband?”
“Perhaps we should go inside.” The older officer suggests, and before she even knows what is happening she is perching on the edge of the sofa.
“What happened? Are they okay?”
“I’m so sorry madam; there has been a car accident. Your husband died instantly.” The same officer tells her.
“Caitlin? What about Caitlin?” She questions, not able to process what they have told her.
“She’s critical, but she is in good hands.”
“Take me to her... please.”

She can still hear the clattering of the knife as it hit the floor and she knows now the pain had occurred at the moment of impact. With each day that passes she hates herself more, she should have been the one in the car. She should have told Daniel he didn’t have time for milkshake. If only he had come straight home he’d still be here now.

Flicking her tongue over her dry lips she screws up her face at the taste of salt. She assumes it’s from the spray but it’s not until she runs her hands despairingly over her face that she realises she’s crying. Glancing back along the beach, the sea is edging closer to the steps – the only exit from the beach. It is time to leave. She rushes along the sands, a strong wind trying to push her backwards; an invisible force begging her to stay. Making it to the steps she stands and stares at the sea for a final time, watching the sea wash away the footsteps she had left behind. Washing away any proof that she was ever there.

Before she even finishes pulling into the driveway Jack is running from the house, “Mum, Mum!”
“Jack, are you okay?” she asks as she climbs from the car.
“Where were you? You were gone hours.”
She hears the panic in his voice and guilt floods through her. “I was down at the beach, I needed time to think.”
“You didn’t answer your phone. I was worried Mum,” he tells her.
“I’m sorry Jack,” she apologises. She was being selfish, she should have been here with him, not wallowing in self pity; she wasn’t the only one suffering. She’d lost her husband, her soul mate, but he’d lost his father. “Did you need me?”
“The hospital called, they wanted you to ring them ASAP. Do you think she is okay?” Jack asks his mother, wanting her to tell him everything would be alright.
Sarah watches her son as she pulls out her phone. Since the accident the confident sixteen year old has vanished, he looks younger and vulnerable now. He’s hurting and she doesn’t know what to say or do.

The call was quick; they need her to come straight into the hospital, they won’t tell her why but she can’t help but worry that it’s bad news. Surely they would share good news over the phone.
“I have to go,” she tells her son.
“I’m coming with you,” Jack tells her and they climb into the car and drive towards the hospital. No more words are exchanged between them, there is no need – nothing can be said to make things better.

Pulling the car into a space, mother and son race towards the ward Caitlin has been occupying for the past week. They don’t stop to find a doctor; instead they head straight for her. Stopping in the doorway, Sarah finally lets out her breath. The breath she doesn’t even realise she was holding. Tears stream down her face as she takes in the sight before her eyes. Caitlin is sitting up, her eyes glued to the television...she is awake.
“Mum are you going in?” Jack asks, wondering why they are still hovering in the door way.
“What will I tell her?” She speaks out loud, her tears a mixture of joy and sorrow. She didn’t know it was possible to feel so many emotions so strongly at the same time.
He wraps his arms around his Mum’s shoulders. “It’s going to be okay you know? Daddy is still here, I can feel him. He’s watching over us now Mum – he’ll make sure everything is okay.”
More tears run down her face at her son’s braveness, his words comforting her. “I know,” she smiles weakly, hugging him tightly. “Let’s go see her then.”
Arms holding each other they step in the room, ecstatic that Caitlin is okay – distraught that Daniel is dead. Ready to face the world without him, knowing they are strong enough to make it.

THE END
(C) Lucy January 2010